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Submitted on
May 26, 2011


5 (who?)

Five easy ways to tell you're a homophobe

Journal Entry: Thu May 26, 2011, 8:15 AM

Five easy ways to tell you’re a homophobe!

1. You disown your son when he tells you he’s gay. CHECK!
2. You refer to homosexuals as fags, fairies, or with other unsavoury F-words. CHECK!
3. You find yourself ripping up rainbow-coloured flags in your free time. CHECK!
4. You stop voting for the German Liberal Party even after Guido Westerwelle’s resignation. CHECK!
5. You upload a picture of two Elves from the Tolkien legendarium and say they’re not gay. CHECK!

… Now wait a minute.

It’s incredible how narrow-minded people can become if you dare to say such politically incorrect things as “These characters are not gay”.

I can only imagine that some of the ones who accused me of homophobia in comments and PNs after the image I uploaded last week* were gay themselves and have been subjected to all sorts of homophobia for so long that they jump at anyone’s throat for the slightest hint of what they perceive as intolerance. And I can imagine it very well indeed. I have gay friends, very close friends too, and I’ve seen first-hand what intolerant people can do to the ones they don’t tolerate.

What those people don’t get is that there’s nothing homophobic about stating that characters that were clearly never intended to be gay by their authors are… well, not gay. And please, don’t give me all that “Tolkien was just a downtrodden Catholic boy who would have written steamy sex scenes between all the guys in his novels if conventions had permitted.” No. Just no.

I suppose you’re getting too old for this community if you find that 96% of it revolves around sex – because the average deviant is between 16 and 20 years of age and that’s what those people’s minds revolve around a lot more frequently than older people’s minds. Which isn’t supposed to say that I don’t appreciate well-written erotica (loads of it on this site though you have to search for it), or well-drawn sex scenes, whether straight or gay. There’s a lot of beautiful and sexy stuff around – of the artists’ original characters, or of loads of fandom characters who actually are gay.

I don’t mind sex, heaven forefend. I’ve had lots of it. And that’s probably the reason why I don’t have to think about it non-stop while reading Tolkien, or Harry Potter, or watching Heroes, or eating cheesecake. I don’t care if it’s excessive boy-on-boy, girl-on-boy, two-girls-on-boy, unicorn-on-zebra or archenemy-on-archenemy. It wearies me.

And I would never dream of prescribing you what to think. If I come across slash I don’t support – again, regardless whether it’s excessive boy-on-boy, girl-on-boy, two-girls-on-boy, unicorn-on-zebra or archenemy-on-archenemy – I’ll usually hold my tongue. But I don’t want it shoved in my face in my own gallery, when I’ve uploaded a picture with no sexual content at all, and say so in the description (and it’s sad that these things even have to be said in descriptions).

On that note, I suppose I can count myself incredibly lucky for having found such wonderful, mature, and insightful people here on dA that I can chat with. Given that quite a few of my pics have made the front page, I suppose that it borders on a miracle that I’m getting relatively little batshit. But all the good vibes that I get in my gallery do make the bits of batshit stand out all the more.

So what is this post? It’s a bit of a rant. It’s a bit of an explanation. It’s something I’ll link the next person to who thinks they absolutely have to accuse me of homophobia. Feel free to accuse me of being literal-minded for insisting on canon. I’ll freely tell you that I am.

And while we’re on it, why not be more creative? Why accuse me of homophobia for drawing two straight guys when you can just as well accuse me of racism for drawing a white-skinned figure, or of arachnophobia because I’m drawing a horse? Or, come to that, of anti-lefthandedness because I draw all my Tolkien Elves right-handed though I'm left-handed myself?

Just a thought.


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Kovitlac Featured By Owner Feb 13, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I disagree!

Cheesecake is damn sexy.
Lawenta Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
I've learned to enjoy slash in some fandoms - learned to enjoy it so much that I'm even tempted to slash my own precious characters, something that would be unimaginable to me just a few years ago. Still, I can't touch Tolkien in this. :XD: Maybe because I still consider non-canon pairings fundamentally disrespectful to both the author and the characters. Sometimes (quite often) it's fun, and sometimes (very rarely) it's so well written that it almost feels like a compliment instead of disrespect, but still.

But despite all the fun in this, there's something very dangerous and damaging in such an abundance of slash in my opinion - the threat of seeing something primarily sexual in every relationship. Friends, siblings, enemies, everyone is slashed, as if no other close relationship was possible. And such a reduction of the endless complexities of human bonds scares me.

So yeah, I understand where this little rant comes from :) Still, I'm glad you're getting relatively little drama. Let's hope the pluses continue to far outweigh the minuses and you'll continue to be a good company to us all. :hug:
Gold-Seven Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2011  Professional Traditional Artist
"Friends, siblings, enemies, everyone is slashed, as if no other close relationship was possible."


I'm actually sort of surprised that the last taboo - parents and children - has been left remarkably untouched.
Lawenta Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Maybe it has something to do with most of the teens writing fan-fiction having some parents of their own and being creeped out (crept out? :XD:) by the idea. :giggle:
Thinking about it, the taboo doesn't hold very fast in case of step-parents, but with biological ones, it thankfully does.
Gold-Seven Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2011  Professional Traditional Artist
Of course! ... You know you're getting old when you look at the world from a parent's perspective. :)
Lawenta Featured By Owner Jun 12, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
...and then you know you're getting wiser because you've experienced both the child's and the parent's perspective. :D
ShadowedElf Featured By Owner Jun 3, 2011  Student Writer
I can't tell if you're saying you would do or are doing those things that you have "Check" next to. Some are quite harsh, especially the first one. You seem to be a very nice person so I imagine you wouldn't!

I'm a slash fan of certain pairings in certain fandoms and have a few homosexual OC's. I do NOT support Tolkien slash and I find fans that get all bitchy about slash pairings they supposedly see everywhere to be quite annoying. I saw nothing slashy about the picture you posted. My first thought was "Oh, they must be training." If it was from a pairing I like, I probably would have have had other thoughts.

Just wantedt o point out that not all slash fans are crazy XD
Gold-Seven Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2011  Professional Traditional Artist
Thanks ;)
TrottierJS Featured By Owner Jun 1, 2011
LOL! Sorry but I found this pretty funny.
(as one of the older deviants I understand)
TomScribble Featured By Owner May 31, 2011
You stop voting for the German Liberal Party even after Guido Westerwelle’s resignation. CHECK! :D (would that make me a homophobe because I never voted for them anyway?)

I'm sorry for you! The oversexedness of fandom was something I really had to get used to when I first came online and realised there was such a thing as "fandom" and terms like "AU". I only previously encountered it in homophobic-sounding comments about Frodo and Sam in the LOTR movies, which irritated me because it made me feel like a homophobe for getting cross & insisting they weren't gay & wasn't it irrelevant anyway etc. Kind of like what has happened to you here! Except it was all in my head! But then this kind of thing is always in people's heads anyway, which makes the fact that a picture can be misread/differently read and vehemently argued about so irritating!

I gave up arguing about Remus Lupin and Sirius Black from the Harry Potter books. I don't have half the exposure you do and guess my HP fanart is relatively obscure, and so the "I'm not gay" T-shirt I drew on Lupin in one silly piece only got comments like "Yeah right ;) " from the shippers and "yes, that annoys me too!" from non-shippers. I believe I truly had my cake and ate it there.

But alas, I have now been horribly horribly corrupted. So much so that when you wrote archenemy-on-archenemy I read it as "arsch-enemy", and don't even mention that unicorn-on-zebra stuff.
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