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December 24, 2011
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The Hobbit. Jacksonised or: Pimp my Dwarf!

Journal Entry: Sat Dec 24, 2011, 2:56 AM
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As I read the Hobbit to my son, as Smaug lies buried under the waters of the Long Lake and as Elves, Dwarves, Men and Orcs are drawn to the Lonely Mountain by greed, I stumble over promo photos of the Hobbit www.herr-der-ringe-film.de/v3/… and am reduced to disbelief.


Of course, I should have known. The target audience are the "Lotr" fans, the ones who have never read the books (probably tried, but gave up after "Concerning Hobbits"), who can't even be bothered to spell out the title of what they call their favourite book (or movie), who whooped with glee when Legolas surfed down the stairs of Helm's Deep on a shield or when Viggo, Orly and that alcoholic of a Dwarf kung-fu'd their way towards Théoden, and whom Jackson expects to be clamouring for more of the same in The Hobbit. He couldn't have made it a children's movie, no, of course not.

Thus, those lovable, squabbling Dwarves, who have only bread knives (which they lose soon enough after their encounter with the Orcs) and bows and arrows (which they waste shooting after black deer in Mirkwood), are portrayed as literally armed to the teeth. What do they need a burglar for? What do they need Bard for? They can just walk into the Lonely Mountain and bash Smaug on the head with that armoury of theirs, and all his jewel-encrusted armour won't avail him anything.

They don't even look like dwarves. They look as my first RPG game master always imagined them- heavily armed and armoured, grim creatures. Those are D&D Dwarves. They have nothing to do with Thorin and Company.

And Kili? I can already see the slash fic that'll be written about him. Screwing Fili at the Troll cave, in Rivendell (probably as a threesome with Elrond), and of course all the lovely bondage they'll be having with Legolas in the Elven-King's halls - whenever he can spare a moment between washing and conditionering his hair! Expecting the first fanfics in... less than three hours! Hey, those things are quickly written. And the fanart's going to beat Haldir.

Consider this: In the Lord of the Rings, Jackson gave us Frodo, Gandalf, Galadriel, Gollum, and a good handful of other characters exactly as we'd all seen them from the illustrators that had given us Tolkien illustrations for more than half a century. And we loved him for it. And he was confident enough in this to still give them to us like that, and not say, "Everyone sees Gandalf with a blue hat, long grey cloak, long beard and staff! Hey, I'll give him dreads, a full-plate armour and a shaven chin, just to prove how imaginative I am!"

But now he's gone and done exactly that.

Sorry, PJ... but NO. Leave a good book alone, and stay WAY clear of all that disgusting fan service.

I'm sure he'll have moments of greatness in between there, even moments of grandeur as he managed to put into the Lord of The Rings. I'll probably enjoy parts of the movie. I do love the Lord of the Rings movies (a few well-planned toilet breaks at strategic points in The Two Towers help), and when I saw the promo pictures for the Lord of the Rings movies over ten years ago, I was absolutely crazy with enthusiasm. So this is not a routine exercise in book-to-movie bashing.

I wonder what they'll do with the movie title in German. The book is known here as "Der Kleine Hobbit" (The Little Hobbit), and that will definitely not fit for the movie...

PS: Everyone who said that it was necessary to make the movie darker and the Dwarves less Disney please explain Nori and Ori to me. Especially Nori's hair...do. :O_o: www.herr-der-ringe-film.de/v3/…


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:iconpendragonmagicfairy:
PendragonMagicFairy Aug 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I wasn't disappointed at all! Because I thought the performance made up greatly for the looks of the dwarfs, 
especially Richard Armitage played his role great (Thorin)!

As for Thorins beard, they gave a explanation for that, in the movie when Erebor isn't taken yet, 
Thorin has quite a beard for such a young dwarf. But when smaug came it was burned of, and in remembrance of the lost dwarves of Erebor, he keeps it short.
And when he has the kingdom back, he will let it grow long once again. (although it will never happen:()

But I agree with you that especially Kili could have been a hell lot more dwarfish!
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:iconmovieman410:
movieman410 Mar 4, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
i think they just made the dwarves like that to better connect them to the lord of the rings dwarves hell i thought they were awesome especially Richard Armitage as Thorin
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:iconnoleme:
So, I came back here just to fave this journal, as I recalled it several days ago when I saw the movie. While it was not as horrific as I half-expected, I wasn't exactly jumping up and down in excitement either (though having written a long review allowed me to let off some steam). I'm glad to read someone else feels that way. ^_^
Reply
:icongold-seven:
Gold-Seven Jan 2, 2013  Professional Traditional Artist
See, I don't eve have to write a new review - this year-old journal sums it all up exactly. I'm rather sad at how accurate it was.
Reply
:iconniphredill:
Hm. Sorry for jumping back to such an old journal, but....ever since I read this a year ago, I was dreading the Hobbit film. I didn't actually want to go to see it, because I had made myself believe it would be awful, what with all thee changes in just the character-designs. Later, when I learned it wouldn't be just one, but THREE full-length films, I was disgusted. 'How the blazes can anyone stretch a relatively short children's book into three 2-hour films?!' I thought.
But...I, friends persuaded me, so I went and saw the film and I was very very pleasantly surprised. No, it is not a children's film at all. It is rather naturalistic and the dwarves are definitely NOT the fairytale dwarves described in the Hobbit...but then, I sat down and thought: 'These dwarves have been part of the last great dwarven kingdom on Middle-Earth. They were supposed to be brilliant smiths and craftsmen. They must have faced Orcs numerous times, when crossing the wilderness, when trying to reclaim Moria...All in all, they simply can't have survived without knowing how to fight. Because if not, 'Oakenshield' would make little sense, Thorin actually knowing how to use his newly acquired elvish blade would make little sense, their crossing under the Misty Mountains with no real harm would make little sense...simply put, it made sense, to me personally, that the dwarves knew how to fight. I also liked that i could tell them apart. I didn't really find Kili very, well, distracting or intrusive. He looked a bit too young, but Fili and Kili were, after all, supposed to be the youngest of the lot. But yes, being able to tell which one is Nori and which one is Gloin was indeed very nice for me.

There were several things that were nagging me horribly, though.
I did find it a bit ridiculous that Bilbo had little to no problem using the Sting on the first try and that he could take down that enormous hunk of Orc off of Thorin. And the orcs that seemed to have no ruddy problem to run around at high noon. What the heck?! I thought the only orcs that were able to do so were the Uruk-Hai, who were cross-bred with wildlings! It made no sense!
But otherwise, I found the film really lovely. It was a very very pleasant surprise.
But I do have this strange mechanism where I can separate how I enjoy a book and how I enjoy the film that was based on it.
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:icongold-seven:
Gold-Seven Dec 29, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
Strange that you should drag this one up - I was just reminded of it too. I saw the Hobbit the day before yesterday, and unfortunately, I have nothing to add to that journal that I wrote a year ago, based on the promo shots. They were pretty accurate. :(
Reply
:iconstainedglassmasque:
WHAT has he DONE to the DWARVES!?

I was so terribly excited for this movie, since I am a fan of how The Lord of the Rings all turned out - a fair adaption, even though there was shield surfing (which I kinda thought was cool, aha) and much was left out. But I hadn't seen any previews for it - I had no clue about how anything was going to be til just now, and I feel sick to my stomach. This is just wrong! Granted, I only just recently finished reading The Hobbit for the first time, but I grew up watching the 1977 animated movie; I can't picture Thorin & Company any other way. One of them is too pretty, and I certainly don't see them decked out to beat me to death until it comes time to defend the Smog-less Lonely Mountain from the Men, Elves, and Goblins. ("The enemy of my enemy is my friend," much?)

And I understand that he's younger in The Hobbit than in Lord of the Rings, but Bilbo doesn't look quite right, either...

I can no longer tell if I'm excited or terrified.

On a side note: OH MI GAWD, BILLY CONNOLLY IS GONNA BE IN IT!!!!!1!11!!!ONE
Reply
:icongold-seven:
Gold-Seven Jul 7, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
After excessively watching "Sherlock", I fear I won't be able to see Bilbo in Martin Freeman anymore...
Reply
:icontzigany:
tzigany Feb 3, 2012  Student General Artist
Expecting the first fanfics in... less than three hours! Hey, those things are quickly written. And the fanart's going to beat Haldir.

A-actually, I think a Thorin/Bilbo fanfiction went out on Tumblr six months ago.
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:icongold-seven:
Gold-Seven Feb 4, 2012  Professional Traditional Artist
I'm scared now...
Reply
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